The Mount Rushmore of: Douchebags

05Jul08

Is there a better topic to debate than who should go on the Mount Rushmore of Douchebags?  Let’s get to it.

First off, it probably makes sense to define Douchebag.  Urban Dictionary has a bunch of definitions, but this one is my favorite: An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self-worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.

1. OJ Simpson – This guy’s douchebaggyness has captured the attention of the American public for going on 15 years now.  Sure, he’s a douchebag for killing his ex-wife and her boyfriend – but his true, inner douchebag has really come out in the more recent years.  OJ is a douchebag because he talks about finding Nicole’s killer when he’s interviewed on the golf course.  OJ is a douchebag because he wrote a book basically admitting his guilt.  OJ is a douchebag because he breaks into Las Vegas hotel rooms and threatens people who are selling his stuff.  (Keep in mind that he owes over $1 million in taxes).  OJ = Douchebag.
2. Bill O’Reilly – I have to put Bill O’Reilly on this list because of this video alone.  And go ahead and throw in this video for good measure.  Dude’s a douche, plain and simple, no matter what your political views are.  Based on the definition above, Bill O’Reilly is clearly a douchebag.
3. Roger Clemens – Roger didn’t quite make my Mount Rushmore of Baseball, but he gets his sculpture on the Mount Rushmore of Douchbags.  Clemens is on here because he cheated, won’t admit to it and has thrown everyone in life under the bus to save his image – including his wife and best friend.  Wow, what a douche.
4. Wilmer Valderrama – Who is this guy?  I know he was a sidekick on somewhat popular show, but what else has he done?  This link sums up Wilmer perfectly.  He’s a douchebag.

Honorable Mentions: Kobe Bryant, David Stern, Ryan Adams, Dustin Diamond, Adolf Hitler, Eddie Murphy, Chad Johnson, Tom Cruise

This was actually a tough list to come up with.  When you stop and think about it, there are a lot of douchebags out there and the category could be narrowed down considerably.  We could do a Mount Rushmore of Douchebags, Sports Edition.  We could narrow that down to just Football.  We could even narrow it down to Wide Receivers.  But we all pretty much know who goes on that list and there wouldn’t be any debate.  (Coincidentally, my choices would be Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, Brandon Marshall and Javon Walker.

Let the debate begin.  Who’s on your Mount Rushmore of Douchbags?

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Tags: all-time, biggest, bill o'reilly, douche, douchebags, oj simpson, roger clemens, wilmer valderrama